197059

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight."

"I think the only way I'll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I'm in prison."

"1st baby: you make sure he's breathing every five minutes 2nd baby: someone replaced him with a ham in the crib and you don't even notice"

"The Better Paleo Diet I'm on the Paleo diet, except I'm the caveman who discovered Snickers."

"If you can't say something nice You might have a lisp......"

"Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS He will now go by: Ernie Anders."

"I had this one night stand, and the next morning I felt so guilty I bought another one for the other side of the bed."

"My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor."

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre)."

"Police responded to a call where the husband was beating his wife with a flashlight... The man was charged with assault; flashlight charged with battery."