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Joke of the Day

"I told my paralyzed girlfriend I was leaving her... She couldn't stand to see me go..."

"If at first you don't succeed, we have a lot in common."

"I was in a nightclub grinding on a girl. When someone said, ""What the fuck are you doing with that skateboard?"""

"Speaking of jokes that aren't funny cut it out with the abortion ones"

"Most medicines have side effects... ...except Viagra has front effects. Good bye."

"I used to work at a french fry stand I was way over quali**fried**"

"A tiny Tarzan swinging from your Tampon string."

"I was never great with girls but I have standards... I don't date ugly girls... I make them fucking ugly..."

"I should start a wine company and name the bottles things like ""don't be sad"" ""he's not worth it"" ""you deserve better""!"

"I was dating a radiologist... but it didn't work out: she could see right though me."