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Joke of the Day

"I am starving and horny. This cucumber is going in me one way or another."

"I made a joke about someone getting knocked out... ...but I forgot the punchline."

"Tickling my girlfriend and having sex with my girlfriend are kind of the same thing. She is always laughing at me and telling me to stop"

"There's plenty of deeply disturbed fish in the sea."

"Why did the Indian girl suffer so much when she broke her leg? She was in the wrong cast."

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A: A pachydermatologist."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over Me: Idk, but could you move this along? I've had too much to drink and I really need to pee."

"I had children for two reasons; I wanted to start a loving family, and I needed a quick excuse to leave things."

"What's the opposite of Kathmandu? Dogwomandon't."

"My girlfriend thinks dressing up as a clown during sex would be weird ... I think it would be fucking ridiculous."