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Joke of the Day

"Me: Don't be mean to my friend. Her: Your friend just broke in my door and almost strangled me. Me: I said he was my friend, not yours."

Next Joke
 
"what do you call a closet full of lesbians? a liquor closet"
"My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart."
"In awkward situations I'll sometimes break out my braille version of Calvin and Hobbes. You know - comic relief."
"Q: Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb? A: He couldn't part with it."
"So the Macarena turns out to be about a girl double-teaming her boyfriend's friends. Now we know the lyrics were crowd-sourced from Twitter."
"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? Little caesars."
"What's worse than a blowjob from Willie Nelson? That ain't Willie Nelson."
"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An in""vest""igator :D"
"what if the Blair Witch was just lonely"