43959

Joke of the Day

"Why does the ""forever alone"" keep a beehive next to his bed? Because royal jelly comes in handy... you know, for lowering cholesterol."

"Mrs.Potato seemed genuinely upset that her husband was missing, but the smell of French fries in her kitchen made the detectives suspicious."

"What do a pirate wench and an alcoholic have in common? They've both got a little Captain in them."

"Sherlock Holmes and his partner are walking in the woods... ...they happen upon a tree bearing yellow fruit. Watson asks, ""What the hell is that?"", Sherlock responds, ""A lemon tree my dear Watson."""

"What do you call a fart from an Egyptian stranger? Toot uncommon"

"Everyone preaches body acceptance, until you show up naked at the company picnic."

"An app.. An app that reminds you, no matter how ugly you are.. someone far far away wants to bang you. -Twitters new slogan"

"Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan."

"On a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen, I'm at Mel Gibson drunk right now."

"Wife lets me be on top..... Last night My wife let me be on top. I fucking love bunk beds."