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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a quid and a pound? I can't quid my dick into your mom."
Next Joke
"[magic show] MAGICIAN {fanning out deck of cards}: Pick a card, any card... ME: Your VISA card MAGICIAN: God dammit!"
"What do you call a dead baby hanging on a wall? Art"
"Did you know how chinesse parents name their childs? They throw a tincan downstairs and take note how it sounds: ""Chin Tan Chung"""
"I'm pretty confident I can perform this Appendectomy on myself. Thanks YouTube"
"What do you call a retarded psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at-large!"
"Today my friend accused me of being condescending. It's ridiculous, I don't even think he knows what that word means."
"Mugger: ""Hand over your card and give me your PIN number!"" Me: ""My personal identification number number?"" *he stabs me*"
"""Do you have anything with, ya know, even more denim?"" ""These jeans are 100% denim."" ""I require more."" ""Mr. Leno, this is getting weird."""
"What's a parrot's favourite game? Monopoly!"