202987

Joke of the Day

"I just filled up my gas tank and went to a movie and bought a large soda and popcorn, I spent roughly 7000 dollars."

"Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat-belt"

"If you haven't logged onto Facebook for awhile, Judy Ann Ross from 10th grade algebra is enjoying a chicken salad sandwich right now."

"The pet groomer didn't appreciate the 10 dollar bill I slid across the table to give my dog the ""happy ending""."

"Did you know that its illegal for someone living next to a cemetery to be buried there? that would be called murder."

"A girl goes to the gynecologist, and the OB/GYN says ""This might hurt a bit, do you want me to numb it?"" She nodded yes... [NUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUM!](http://i.imgur.com/ZtNtzNP.gif)"

"Where does a redditor's slutty girlfriend hide her other boyfriend? Idaho."

"I wasn't a fan of my facial hair at first.. But then it grew on me..."

"I have to go to twitter for my news because the news is too busy showing me tweets."