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Joke of the Day

"I just filled up my gas tank and went to a movie and bought a large soda and popcorn, I spent roughly 7000 dollars."

"I can give out my number and I bet 8152898509 dollars my phone will still be dry."

"What do you call the Spanish Government? Juan Republic"

"A screwdriver walks into a bar... The Bartender says, ""Hey! We have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"I just got a DM from a guy who said he was a Day Trader. I offered him 3 Mondays for a Friday."

"What's an activity 9/10 people enjoy? Gang rape."

"Care less and you'll stress less."

"I asked a chinese girl for her number... I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"How come its okay to tackle someone who wants to jump in front of a train but its unacceptable to slap a Big Mac out of their fat face."

"What's a feminist's favourite coffee? An oppresso."