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Joke of the Day
"Robin Williams died like he lived Depressed."
Next Joke
"My favorite drawings at the Mohammad cartoon festival in Texas... were the two chalk outlines out front."
"God: Noah, I need an ark. Noah: Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter? God: Uh [huge grin] cos I'm banging his wife? [raises hand] up top?"
"Latvian man walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, ""Why so long face?"" Latvian say, ""I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."""
"[Date] Her: *giggles* whoops you got a hair right there Me (nervous she's trying to clone me): give it back"
"""sure was nice of me to give that homeless guy $5 this morning"" [sees Steve Bannon on TV holding a Starbucks] ""son of a..."""
"Circumcision. My parents paid the bill, but I left the tip."
"If I poured phenolphthalein on you it would turn pink. Because you a basic bitch."
"Did you hear they're making an Indiana Jones 5? How can they do that?! They haven't released a fourth!"
"What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one or not."