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Joke of the Day

"[caveman scratches a cave painting of an elephant onto the cave wall] ELEPHANT: delete it"

"Shia Labeouf always looks like he's trying to teach math after someone just waved smelling salts under his nose."

"I asked a coworker if she liked Mila Kunis. She said yes and all the better if I call her a whore afterwards. Then I saw her hearing aid."

"What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard? A new last name."

"What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? ""Where's my tractor"""

"[tv ad] Hey folks, this is Don Key! Come on down to Key's Automotive for.. uh- [camera still rolling] holy shit .. donkey. my name is donkey"

"went to kiss a girl last night and her eyes rolled back and her head floated off her shoulders body burst into flames i am a bad kisser"

"Apple just created a new Operating System for the Spanish speaking population It's called Froot-OS."

"What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific? Nothing. It just waved."

"My best friend won't talk to me. It's because he is a dog."