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Joke of the Day

"I asked a coworker if she liked Mila Kunis. She said yes and all the better if I call her a whore afterwards. Then I saw her hearing aid."

"Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she. Do you know what her dogs name was? (insert Wookie noise) Do you know why her dog ran away? You would to if your name was (insert Wookie noise)."

"A boob job sounds like the best job in the world."

"So far 42 out of 43 presidents actually ran for office. FDR just kind of rolled himself in there."

"My roommate just called my clothes gay.. Have a little respect man! They just came out of the closet"

"Waiter: Hi! Our special today is macaroni or cheese! Me: Wait - did you say 'or' cheese? Waiter: *lifts shirt, reveals gun* Look, I'm a cop"

"Want to hear the one about potassium? K."

"whats the difference in fast n furious and walking dead? there's no Walker in Fast and Furious .......RIP Paul"

"What do you call a pair of twins who live together? ""Womb-mates"""

"How do you build a boat? Well Im not sure, but I do Noah guy."