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Joke of the Day

"I asked a coworker if she liked Mila Kunis. She said yes and all the better if I call her a whore afterwards. Then I saw her hearing aid."

"asked my dentist out but she brushed me off, said she only dates plaque guys Not gonna paste any more time on that cavitease, it's her floss"

"Hello? Is the Communist Party here? Delete my subscription. I just won the lottery."

"Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can!"

"I don't get how people say Mickey Rourke looks bad for his age... ...don't they realise his first film role was in 1941?!"

"What is a 6.9? A really great thing ruined by a period."

"[airplane intercom] good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking why did you leave without me"

"The first time I had sex, I was really scared... I was all alone! --Rodney Dangerfield"

"All this talk about Trump hating immigrants... Yet he married two of them."

"The FBI raided Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence."