43821

Joke of the Day

"MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone* JUDGE: he's got a point"

"The restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang. It just says I can't get within 50ft of you. You wanna play catch or Frisbee or something?"

"Pony: ""I love hay so much I-"" Dad: ""Why don't you marry it, ya big nerd?"" *pony grows up* *becomes Horse Emperor* *legalizes hay marriage*"

"Why did King Kong go to the airport? He had a plane to catch."

"What kind of newspaper do cows read? The Moo York Times"

"Guy walks into a bar... So this Jewish guy walks into a bar in New York with a parrot on his shoulder. The Bartender goes where'd you get that? And the parrot says, ""in Brooklyn, they're everywhere."""

"My favorite Bible story is the one where thousands more people show up to Jesus' party than RSVP'd but he still had enough cake for everyone"

"What do you call a meeting exclusively attended by pine, juniper and fir trees? A coniference."

"A woman once told me to look at the world through her eyes. So I looked out the kitchen window."

"It was a blessing that grandpa past away peacfully in his sleep, but tragic for the passengers in his car."