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Joke of the Day

"Muslims are against the consumption of Pork and believe the pig to be unclean. Yet their prophet has Ham in his name."

"What's a monkey's favorite snack? Rhesus Peanut butter cups!"

"What are Mario and Luigi's overalls made of? Denim, denim, denim."

"What do you call a Mexican detective? Sherlock, homes"

"STATUS: Using the flashlight on my phone to look for the keys that are in my hand so I can open my car cuz I think I left my phone in there."

"My father reminds me of Jesus Christ. Not that he resembles him or anything. Its just that he left, said he was gonna come back, and never did."

"(Grabs store intercom) Would whoever dropped the list with ""pizza"" and ""wine"" on it in the cart come to the front? We need to be friends."

"I bought a thesaurus at a store today. Brought it home to find all the pages were blank... I have no words to describe how angry I am"

"[alligator store] Clerk: $1500. Thanks Me: not gonna say bye to him? Clerk: uh Me: say it Clerk: goodbye Me: say ""see you later alligator"""

"I like to play chess in the park with bald men... ...Although sometimes it's hard to find 32 of them."