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Joke of the Day

"A scientist walks into a bar and seems depressed. The bartender asks ""What's the matter?"" The scientist replies ""Everything is matter."""

"How did Link win the basketball game for his team? He used the Hookshot!"

"What did the Black owner of the BMW do to deserve jail? You mean, black people have to DO something to deserve jail? p.s I know I am going dowwwnn for this"

"A man tries to punch a wood chipper He is unarmed."

"What did the Irish man and the mongol woman name their child? Lepre Kahn"

"A Doomsday Clock representing the dangers to humanity has symbolically been set to three minutes to midnight I guess you could say we are at... Threat Level Midnight"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never had a lentil on my face"

"[Pilot intercom] Me: ""Hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. Not to cause alarm but the pilot has passed out and I lied a lot on my resume."""

"The genie sang that whole song about how he's gonna be Aladdin's best friend ever right in front of the monkey"

"Computer: Do you trust this device? Me: Why? Is there something you're not telling me?"