43795

Joke of the Day

"ME EVREY MORNIG: nonono no noNO no NONO NO!!! ME EVREY NIGHT: u know wat wil make my morning amazing?! setting my favorite song as my alarm"

"Why do you never see any Stormtroopers as photographers? They always miss the shot"

"can't now.. having an heated argument with my toaster."

"I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it. It's called a calculator."

"A narcissist, a misogynist, and a bigot walks into a bar... Bartender says, what'll it be Mr. President?"

"What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline? I'll tell you tomorrow"

"What's worse than a Jimmy John's full of dead babies? A Subway full of live ones."

"What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day? St. Patrick's day everybody wants to be Irish."

"I'm convinced that those at work who drum on every available surface incessantly killed things as a child."

"How many homophobes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They don't accept change, even if it means a brighter world."