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Joke of the Day

"How many homophobes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They don't accept change, even if it means a brighter world."

"I heard if you went on a diet.. you could end world hunger."

"Ten Dollar Hooker A man goes to see a ten dollar hooker, then he gets crabs. He goes back to her to complain and she tells him ""What the hell did you expect for ten dollars? Lobster?"""

"When you're trying to watch something and your whole family decides to have a competition to see who can be the loudest."

"I've been reading a book on euthanasia... It's so good I can't put it down."

"What did the Nazi Police Officer Give to the Schoolchildren? SWAT Sticka's!"

"A guy walks into a bar wearing plastic wrap pants... The bartender says ""Whoa there buddy, just turn around and leave - I can clearly see you're nuts!"""

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that won the award? He was out standing in his field."

"Science, Philosophy and Religion What is Science? Looking for a black cat in a black room. What is Philosophy? Asking whether there is a black cat in a black room. What is Religion? ""I HAVE THE CAT"""

"I can't wait until Twitter gives you the option to block yourself. I say some real dumb shit on here and I shouldn't have to deal with it."