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Joke of the Day

"I'm convinced that those at work who drum on every available surface incessantly killed things as a child."

"Next time you're in the changing room and sales person asks if you need anything, just say ""Yes, can I get some toilet paper?"""

"What drives the hype train? The hyper drive."

"What type of car would Jesus drive? A Chrysler"

"Who is Ric Flair's favorite director? John WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"What's Better, British or German Sausages British, because German are the Wurst..."

"two guy's are sitting on the front porch in the yard they see a dog licking his balls one say's to the other do you think I could do that? his buddy says maybe but I think you should pet him first"

"While vacationing in Turkey a second time, I couldn't keep the Arabic names straight, but I saw many familiar fezzes."

"Would you slap your cousin for $1,000,000? I'd do it for free, bitch."

"[starts Power Point presentation titled ""Why I'm Breaking Up With You""] Him: Wait, what the--? Me: Please hold all questions until the end."