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Joke of the Day

"I'm convinced that those at work who drum on every available surface incessantly killed things as a child."

"My dog is either dreaming or can't quite figure out how to shape shift."

"Dentist: ok open up ""Well I guess it all started when my dad left..."" Dentist: no I mean- Assistant: wait bill...let him finish"

"Jared Fogle was given 15 years in prison today... He was reportedly ok with it, and when reached for comment stated ""As long as it's under 18."""

"Have you heard about Henry the brown-nosed reindeer? He's just as fast as Rudolf, he just can't stop as quick"

"Whenever I'm feeling really tired, I just watch the new Star Wars trailer... Because The Force Awakens me"

"Q: How does a blonde turn the lights on in the morning? A: She opens the car door."

"I am not a fan of dad jokes. ""Hi, Notafanofdadjokes, I'm Dad."""

"A facebook friend posted, ""I'm not ashamed of Jesus."" It took every single ounce of my willpower not to reply, ""Uh oh. What did he do now?"""

"Disappointed that there will be no Call of Cthulhu client for Linux I wanted to go insane installing *and* playing the game."