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Joke of the Day
"I ran 3 miles this morning, so if I did my math correctly, I can eat 3 pounds of cake today."
Next Joke
"That awkward moment when u lock binoculars with your neighbor."
"Today, Apple is announcing to the world that millions of baby boomers still don't know how to rip mp3 files from their record collections."
"""Say no to Lindsay Lohan."" - drugs."
"It is impossible to act naturally right after someone tells you to act naturally."
"Just saw a bag of McDonalds in the street. Unsure how this will affect brand. Could be good (free advertising) or bad (no one was eating it)"
"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."
"Two high dudes meet... ""What's your name?"" ""Jack without a V."" ""There's no V in Jack."" ""That's what I just said."""
"The ladies call me ""Tarzan"" in bed... ... because my sexual adventures are all in [Vines.](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vine_%28service%29)"
"There are 10 types of people in this world Those that know binary ... And the rest have girlfriends"