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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a bag of McDonalds in the street. Unsure how this will affect brand. Could be good (free advertising) or bad (no one was eating it)"

"I've read Plumbing for idiots' twice and I still haven't got a clue what I'm doing. I guess it's going to take another few reads before this sinks in."

"I think all dads are in a secret competition to see who can sneeze the loudest."

"Mr. Peanut can't be a health nut... because he is a legume."

"Donald Trump pushes Jimmy Fallon off a cliff.... Jimmy fallon proceeds to open his mouth and yell ""I'm Fallon son!"""

"I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision."

"Bob has 50 cookies. He eats 45. What does he have now? Diabetes. Bob has diabetes."

"If you had to describe your sex life with a famous historical quote Mine would be 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman' - Bill Clinton"

"What's Ned Stark's favorite cereal? Raisin Bran"

"My daughter is starting to ask embarrassing questions about sex. Just yesterday she asked: ""Is that the best you can do?"""