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Joke of the Day

"My boss said ""You're the worst fucking train driver ever,"" ""How many trains have you derailed to date?"" I replied ""It's hard to keep track."""

"Can you guess how many turkeys we're gonna serve tomorrow? Turkey-two j.k. we don't celebrate thanksgiving here lol happy normal day to us"

"Why did America remove the ""u"" from color? Because fuck u that's why"

"What does the twitter bird drink? Twater!"

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin Catholic!"

"""This is gonna be so awful, and everyone's least favorite, yet .0001 of the population will keep it in demand."" - Inventor of licorice"

"I saw a dramatic comedy about a guy with PbA. The plot was confusing... I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Inertia."

"What do Harvard and a virgin have in common? You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came."

"A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."""