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Joke of the Day

"What would be different if men got pregnant? Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem."

"No amount of college can prepare you for how angry you'll get at the way people park in the real word."

"When I die I don't want a big funeral. I'd just like a few of my close friends to get together and try to bring me back to life..."

"Is it me or.. Is it me or does this place smell like up dog? ""What's up dog?"" Oh nothing much what's up with you?"

"How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if ""Thomas the Tank Engine"" was set in early-1940s Germany? #ThomasDieKleineLokomotive"

"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctors described his condition as stable."

"Face down, Ass up. That's how I like to tie my shoes."

"If you were forced at gunpoint to either watch '50 Shades Of Grey' or read the book, what type of gun would you prefer to be shot dead with?"

"Only 1 in 6 Americans can find Ukraine on a map... Putin is fixing the issue by just calling it all ""Russia""."

"One thing that watching cartoons have taught us. Gravity only works if you look down."