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Joke of the Day

"I was in the attic the other day... ...and I found a Christmas present that I meant to give to my daughter a year ago. It's a shame I forgot about it, she always wanted a puppy."

"In the winter you just need to find a corner... Because its 90^o degrees there..."

"How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever? He knows a lot about black holes"

"Q: Why did the baker rob the bank? A: He needed the dough."

"Pretty cool how there are athletes preparing to head to the Olympics in a little over a month and I just got winded making my bed."

"I'm a businessman so I tuck my shirt in. There's a lot of money on the line so I need you to know that this is roughly where my legs start."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. With out a penis."

"I can walk on water ... but I tend to stagger on beer."

"But you didn't pick up Two Types of People: ---- 1. I called you but you didn't pickup ---- 2. I called you from my iPhone 6 Plus 64 GB and you didn't pickup."

"The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality."