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Joke of the Day

"A blind woman told me she thought I had some good girth on my cock I think she was just pulling my leg."

"""My god, it's the zombie apocalypse. Everyone grab the most critical items and get ready to run"" *me holding a Shrek 2 DVD* Way ahead of you"

"My wife asked me to bring home stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra."

"So a black kid asks his dad..."

"My wife calls me a ""five times a night"" man I've always had a weak bladder"

"If you ever catch me staring blankly during our conversation it's because I can't remember if it's my turn to say words or yours."

"It is my sincerest hope that the act of dying feels like finally peeing after a long bumpy car ride."

"""Quinoa"" sounds like something a ninja would say before kicking you."

"What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant? You have served your porpoise."

"Jim McGuinn and David Crosby found dead in apparent Double Homicide, one Keith Richards suspected. It seems two Byrds were killed by one Stone."