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Joke of the Day

"Behind every great man there's a great woman who can take whatever he just said and turn it into a great big fight"

"Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ? He took too long to put his boots on !"

"How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars!"

"How do you make a man from New Zealand fall asleep? Ask him to count how many sexual partners he has had (Because they're sheep fuckers)."

"{batman walking downstairs} ""Hmmm. Looks like Catwoman's left me a present"" [the half-eaten corpse of Birdman lies lifeless on the carpet]"

"Chief cop: ""This might be racially motivated."" Ian: ""Hate crime?"" Chief cop: ""We all hate crime, Ian. That's why we are cops."""

"what did the serial killer spill to the victim i would tell you but id have to kill you"

"I've just been reading about this toddler in China who fell eight stories out of a window. Apparently he was caught by a woman walking by. The kid was fine, and he was back in work the following day."

"I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 Because I really like that one-to-one time."

"I heard that John Cena had a failed porn career... Every time they tried to do the money shot nobody could see him coming."