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Joke of the Day

"what did the serial killer spill to the victim i would tell you but id have to kill you"

"Dec 21st falls on a Friday... What a sh*tty way to start the weekend.."

"If Twitter has taught me anything in 6 years, it's ""that"" is the most unnecessary word in the English language."

"*Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag."

"So many things have made me laugh today but not one of them was funny."

"I got everyone a pet snake for Christmas but you have to catch it, they're in my house, they're everywhere, please come get your snake."

"What's a wavelength's favorite animal? A lamb, duh!"

"What's the difference between USA and USB? One has standards"

"Hints are like bombs As long as they're really not subtle, You only need to drop one. But you drop a second one just to be really sure they got the message."

"Serious question: Are doctors SURE erectile dysfunction isn't just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?"