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Joke of the Day

"Chief cop: ""This might be racially motivated."" Ian: ""Hate crime?"" Chief cop: ""We all hate crime, Ian. That's why we are cops."""

"Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'"

"How does Craig Venter drink beer? Shotgun method"

"Hitting the snooze button... ... Is just starting your day off with a nap."

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle . Always wet but nothing to ride"

"There's no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender"

"It's a shame Laremy Tunsil fell in the draft... But he was still the highest pick!"

"""Pop star, Justin Bieber, was charged with DUI, driving with an expired license and resisting arrest."" Britney Spears whispers, ""Amateur."""

"I hate it when I punch ghosts! http://imgur.com/lVv8D6W"