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Joke of the Day

"I've just been reading about this toddler in China who fell eight stories out of a window. Apparently he was caught by a woman walking by. The kid was fine, and he was back in work the following day."

"My father had cancer and he had only 3 months to live. By the end, he ended up surprising everyone. He died in one month."

"First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop."

"Got a blowjob from a blind girl last night... ..or at least I think it was a blowjob, it was dark and my bionic cock doesn't feel shit."

"Why do chicken coups only have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans."

"Why was the steel angry? Because it lost it's temper."

"(Real news) In Florida, a truck filled with $120,000-worth of chocolate was stolen. Police warn the thieves could be armed and PMSing."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."

"You know what was the biggest travesty to come out of the OJ Simpson Murder Trial? It made Kardashian a house-hold name."

"What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ? A spooksman !"