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Joke of the Day

"I bought my friend an elephant for his living room. Friend: thank you. Me: Don't mention it. *Edit: formatting.*"

"Ear sex is dangerous... ...it fucks with your head"

"Which football team to you need to connect up your computer? Leeds."

"What do you call a horse at night? A Nightmare"

"[moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL"

"Asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, ""A way out"" wasn't the right answer."

"Why come cats purr? It's your pussy's way of saying ""I love you."""

"My labrador and my collie do everything together. You could say that they're great at collaborating."

"What gets less rain than the Sahara Desert? The sun!"

"An Iraqi official calls all of his 8 Saddam's doubles... He says, i have good news, and bad news. The good is that Saddam is alive, the bad is that he lost an arm."