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Joke of the Day

"Did you see the clown that hides from morons?"

"DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*"

"I wasn't sure about the idea of a beard at first But its growing on me."

"As a young child my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be. It turns out that the police call this identity theft."

"I can prove global warming is real. The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already."

"I measure my kids' ages in terms of percent complete out of eighteen years. My kids are 22% and 38%."

"This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd ""Shona baby"""

"Fall is fast approaching. Time to sew all my jean legs back on."

"Why was the laser sad? All his gas is Argon."

"My kids are always accusing me of having a ""favorite child"" which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them."