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Joke of the Day

"I'm getting tired of always having to slowly raise my hand every time someone angrily asks, ""Who does something like that?!"""

"If Rapunzel was a brunette, she'd have just opened the front door."

"I hate when I drop my chili cheese dog in my car and then I have to eat my whole car."

"A 95 year old man and a 93 year old woman file for divorce. Lawyer: Why divorce now after all this time together? Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead."

"Does any one know a program that converts mp3's into Nutella?"

"My dad never loved me as a child. I can't blame him really. I wasn't born until he was an adult."

"What did the creationist student say when asked why he didn't have his homework on natural selection? My dogma ate it."

"My friend asked if he could tell me a Soundgarden joke. I said no. I didn't want to hear a Black Hole Pun."

"What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1000 people."

"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you here an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."