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Joke of the Day

"What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? How the hell are we going to find any eggs in all this shit!"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black."

"I'm at my absolute fakest when I'm wishing people happy birthday on Facebook."

"What's the difference between an oral, and rectal thermometer? The taste."

"I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can't find it..."

"If you asked Jesus on the cross what he wanted the holiday marking his death to be called, ""Good Friday"" would not have leaped to his mind."

"How did the octopus go to the war? Well armed..."

"""I hate hashtags!"" Dad screams as he smashes his #1 Dad coffee mug against a wall."

"Boss: You need supervision. Me: *squints really, really hard*"

"Is it just me or do those red foil wrapped Hershey's kisses taste almost identical to the silver foil Hershey's kisses? I'll keep testing."