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Joke of the Day

"Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors."

"Ice Bank Mice Elf (repeat this 10 times fast)"

"What did the one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing they just waved! Did you sea what I did there? I'm shore you did, beach."

"Why did 20 blondes stand outside the bar? Because you need to be 21 to get in."

"A lawyer walks into a bar... exam. I just thought of this one. Not sure if I'm the first."

"Thinking ab including nude photos of me in my Tinder profile to weed out women who vomit easily"

"Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she's probably thick and tired of it!"

"children in the back seat cause accidents accidents in the back seat cause children"

"I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said ""No!"". For one thing, we don't have any kids..."

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."