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Joke of the Day

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

"I'm the master at playing 'The floor is lava' *Lies on the couch*"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Pacquiao was chasing it!"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine? You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you"

"We should stop making racist jokes... ...enough of dark humour."

"TO: Everyone who has been run over by a boat in Venice... ...my deepest gondolances."

"why didn't the cannibal want to be late to dinner? Because he didn't want to get the cold shoulder."

"You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring."

"20's: I can't remember where I left my keys 30's: I can't remember where I left my car 40's: I can't remember where I left my kids"

"A tangent applied for a credit card, but was denied. He couldn't find anyone willing to cosine."