48370
Joke of the Day
"Which part of the cabbage don't you eat? The wheelchair."
Next Joke
"Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick."
"FINALS TIP: Create a reward system to help you study. For example, if you spend 1 hour studying, reward yourself with 72 hours of Netflix."
"My body is a temple, please leave pizza and tacos at the altar."
"Fuck! I have to fly to California to prevent a forest fire. THIS IS TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY!"
"German sausages... are the WURST!"
"What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say? I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight."
"I complain about my kids a lot but I'd be lost without them. Lost in my expensive sports car in designer clothes. Or lost in my clean house."
"Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero."
"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? nobody ever changed that light bulb because we are to fat and lazy to do it"