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Joke of the Day

"After a long and tough discussion, my wife and I decided to go with adoption. Let the little shits be someone else's problem."

"What do you call an antelope that's really bad at being an antelope? A cantelope."

"I slapped a statues arse... I think I hit rock bottom"

"Popeye was a lonely sailor. No wonder he had such big forearms."

"Just got a great deal on some bottled water. The store was having a liquidation sale."

"Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster... Now it just doesn't work."

"in 1st grade a kid teased me by saying the pink power ranger was my girlfriend, which, man, that would have been quite a pull for a 6-yr-old"

"What can't you call a black priest Father..."

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you do not talk about, name, hint at, refer to, discuss, or mention Thesaurus Club."

"What did the buffalo say to his son who's leaving for college? Bison."