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Joke of the Day

"Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos."

"Mother: ""Why are you home from school so early?"" Son: ""I was the only one who could answer a question."" Mother: ""Oh really? What was the question? Son: ""Who threw the eraser at the principal?"""

"toilet issues why did the dutch man have to get off the toilet? because it was all clogged up!"

"What do you call 2 Mexicans in a boat with a case of beer? A pinat"

"Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and sleep on the floor"

"What is it called when Batman skips church? Christian Bale"

"I cherish a gift a dying friend gave me, strange as it is. With his last breath of life, he gave me his EpiPen. It seemed very important that I have it."

"Did you hear about the guy who kept fucking cheerios? He was a cereal rapist"

"A blonde is at the diner A blonde is at a diner and when the waitress comes to take the order, the blonde reads the name tag out loud: 'Debbie, how sweet.... what do you call the other one?'"

"Cat is hissing at nothing in the kitchen. Based on horror movies I've seen nothing good can come of this, but I'm a white guy so I'll stay."