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Joke of the Day

"""Girl, are you a tree? cause-"" ""no i'm not a tree"" ""..cause i want-"" ""why are you still talking i'm not a tree"" "".. i want t-"" ""not a tree"""

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""why the long face?"""

"What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH"

"How many court cases have been thrown out because the judge needs a unanimous decision & the jury is made up entirely of dentists"

"I'm starting to forget how the alphabet goes... ABCDEFGHIJKLMFAO...."

"Why did the Earth suddenly enter a manic episode then go back to a depressive episode? Because it's bipolar."

"[notices a girl is cold] here take my pants"

"This transition of power reminds me of when my grandma turned over Thanksgiving duties to my mom and the night ended with police showing up."

"My girlfriend is the undisputed queen of not giving a fuck But it's all good. Her sister is plenty wild for the both of them"

"Teacher: What's the definition of a Polygamist? Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!"