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Joke of the Day

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa. Not yelling and screaming, like the people in his car"

Next Joke
 
"Late to bed and late to rise . . . Makes a man who will serve french fries."
"""Seriously, is that what I look like?"" - robot watching a guy 'doing the robot'"
"What kind of blaster would you ambush Darth Vader with? I would use a sandblaster."
"Why are ET's eyes so big? He got the phone bill"
"I wonder if Martha Washington ever got splinters from George's teeth."
"Have you guys tried McDonald's new Premium McWrap? So much better than the Budget McWrap, which is a dead mouse in a cabbage leaf."
"Knock knock! 'Who's there?' 'To' 'To who' '*to whom' 'Kill yourself'"
"What do you call an unambiguous body of water? The Specific Ocean"
"I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am."