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Joke of the Day

"I have 70 hobbies and they all smell the same. They are 69'ing and fishing"

"Cat 1: Are the humans asleep? Cat 2: It appears so. Cat 1: I shall now sing the anthem of my people."

"What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees."

"a girl told me ""ppl dont look at the sky anymor"" so i walked around looking up & it was beautiful & i bumped right into a kid lookin at bugs"

"Me: *falls off a ladder* Wife: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU INJURED? Me: *obviously concussed but also bleeding* I'm injured and outjured"

"My dog just got into a bottle of Tums She is now a basic bitch."

"What cause of death prevents a man from having a closed-casket funeral? Viagra overdose"

"I put off things I don't want to do until tomorrow because a small part of me is like ""Well maybe I'll be dead by then"""

"What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse? I'm feeling a bit sorbet."

"Relationship status : Taken (for granted)"