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Joke of the Day
"Even paranoids have enemies."
Next Joke
"MOM: [walks into daughter's room, sees protest signs, history books, list of senators' phone numbers on bed] Are you... politically active?"
"Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!"
"But laughing at you Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you."
"Women need to relax and stop worrying so much about their bodies. Men aren't picky! Unless you're chubby or have a wrinkle or something."
"What do you call a Chinese man with a video camera?.............Phil Ming"
"What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after sex? I'll be home in 20 minutes."
"Once my credit card got stolen and I never reported it. The thief spent less than my wife."
"Dog's Facebook status: Tried to save the master from the vacuum cleaner today... He just yelled at me."
"If the car behind me honks while waiting for my parking space at the mall, I turn off my car and visibly start a rubik's cube."