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Joke of the Day

"MOM: [walks into daughter's room, sees protest signs, history books, list of senators' phone numbers on bed] Are you... politically active?"

"Any governments / terrorist groups looking to rule by fear should get some tips from spiders."

"I like to hide condom wrappers in my married friends pockets."

"Joke of the Day 6/12/14 The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up,and I said "" Did you get my drift?""."

"What did the woman do that found gold in her vagina? She mined her own business."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It's expensive, you don't like half of it, and sometimes you can give the whole thing to a woman and she still wont have sex with you."

"I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, ""people."""

"anyone hear about this gravity discovery proving einsteins theory correct? I hear its really making a wave"

"Pedophiles... ... Are fucking immature assholes."

"If laughing is good for you because you use 15 muscles, think how healthy you'll be if you're breaking a chair on someone's head every day."