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Joke of the Day

"its macaroni and cheese not macaroni and steve"

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"I accidentally spilled my bottle of rum on the floor. I was let down because I thought I'd be the one getting wasted."
"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck his dick."
"Zombies never bite hipsters. They taste fine. We just don't want to spend eternity hearing them say they became undead before it was cool."
"The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage... ...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins."
"Why do Canadian cops not need to wear body cameras? Because Tim Hortons already has cameras!"
"What is Bing's most searched word ? Chrome"
"The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth."
"I sniffed my work shirt to see if it was too dirty. Unfortunately I work at a chloroform factory and woke up 6 hours late for my shift"
"What flies through the jungle singing opera ? The parrots of Penzance !"