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Joke of the Day

"The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth."

"Why do pedophiles have social anxiety? Because they have a hard time fitting in"

"Wife to husband: ""Our son called me a whore!"" Husband answers: ""Where is that son of a bitch?"""

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity I just can't put it down"

"My password is not working Put numbers in uppercase."

"Dear Algebra, Stop asking us to find your X. She's isn't coming back and don't ask Y."

"out of all the lies ive told just kidding is my favorite. I don't get it?"

"People are all like ""STAY OUTTA MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"" and then they shut down and people are all like ""COME BACK IN MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"""

"I don't understand why we use the word 'late' to describe someone who died, what were they late for? The funeral?"

"Why can't you eat cereal in the Matrix? Because there is no spoon."