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Joke of the Day

"Did you like the movie yesterday? How is Jerry doing at school? It's a pity you broke up with Mark, he was OK. ""Do I know you?"" ""I follow you on twitter."""

"My foot just fell asleep, I'm terrified that drunk white people will notice and start drawing moustaches and penis' on it. #ILoveYallReally"

"Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia? Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state."

"What do you call a color-blind pop artist? See No Green"

"Going to work. I got to work this morning to find a lump of Plasticine on my desk. I didn't know what to make of it."

"The next time you make fun of a ginger, put yourself in their shoes. You'll know how bad it hurts to not have a sole."

"What happens to Eminem when he dies? **Wiggamortis.** I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?"

"""Well I should probably get off twitter. I have to be at work in 15 minutes and I haven't even showered yet."" - me and at least 100 of you"

"(Ad for a baby) gently used can't even kill you doesn't shed poops on a learning curve goes from 0-60 in roughly 60 years"

"There's a new machine at my gym. I used it, but after an hour I started feeling sick... It's got Snickers, cheetos, Peanuts... Everything!"