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Joke of the Day

"<--- only has 13 problems left. Turns out, getting divorced cured 86 of em!"

"[opens door for two Jehovah's witnesses] Ugh...ok come in. The goat blood is in a vial on the table. I'll get the virgin from the basement."

"I don't trust this Obama guy... I think he lies a lot. First he says he's 52, and then the next year he's 53. Which one is it?"

"I got 99 karma but link ain't one."

"What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists? Rise up lights"

"Friends are like boobs, some are big, some are small, some are real and some are fake."

"How to get a guys attention: 1. Take off your shirt 2. Be a TV"

"I just want a girl that's nice and sweet that doesn't require a lot of money and I can dunk them in milk wait, a cookie, I want a cookie"

"The current ""feminist"" movement"

"Whats the difference between Usain bolt and Hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race. Edit: Grammar"