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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586? A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605."

"What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky? Cornography"

"[Ouija Board] ""Oh great spirits tell me ur secrets"" You'll die soon ""OMG HOW"" Hold on I have another call"

"Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on."

"Each of my 4 children has made me a better parent. So I figure I only need 34 more kids to be a pretty decent guy."

"The other day the lifeguard told me to stop peeing in the pool... I got such a fright I nearly fell in."

"Nobody cares that my ears are flattening and my nose is growing longer... I guess its just *irrelephant*."

"why do i wish my lawn was an emo ? SO it would cut itself"

"So the square root of -1 is performing in a Broadway show Suddenly, an audience member stands up and shouts ""I'm sure everyone will agree that i could replace you!"""

"Pick up line for fat chicks ""Hey girl, put down that cupcake, you're already too sweet."""