42481

Joke of the Day

"This girl came up to me and asked if I remembered her from the vegetarian club... but I don't think I'd seen herbivore."

"If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack."

"I bought a racehorse today and I named him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, ""Come on My Face."""

"If Dracula was gay... ...he'd be a fruit bat."

"Justin Bieber, Katy Perry and Adam Levine walk into a bar.. ..and it burns to the ground and it's finally safe to turn the radio back on."

"214 of the 234 girls rescued in Nigeria from Boko Haram are pregnant? The other 20 girls must feel pretty fucking ugly."

"Nurse: Where does it hurt? Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*"

"Which type of bees make milk? Boo-bees"

"Top-down is the right way to wash just about anything... ...but apparently not convertibles."

"Underage girl, sucking on daddy's cock, gets jizzed on all over he......... Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a google image search."