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Joke of the Day
"I had 13 items in the 12 items or less line, so I just put a banana in my pocket."
Next Joke
"I guess the Tupperware lids in my house just graduate and go off to college or something."
"You need an Arc? I Noah guy."
"Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like 'Stabbyrabbit' or 'Weaponrat'"
"What has two O's and fires? A double-vowel shotgun."
"What's better than 29 year olds? 20 9 year olds ( ) Sorry"
"Hey, incessant seatbelt indicator beeping, I'll outlast you; just like your friend the gas light. You're not the boss of me."
"Church of Frugality: ""Thank you for the food which we are about to receive. Ramen."""
"Just been reading how more people die from choking on sweets' packaging than the sweets themselves. Gums don't kill people, wrappers do."
"Ahhh.......I love the sounds of autumn; that old familiar crunch of Halloween candy wrappers on the floor."