42217
Joke of the Day
"Balloons are stupid. ""Happy birthday! Here's a buncha sacks of breath."""
Next Joke
"Jesus??? Nah, Vishnu is my copilot...he's got like 4 arms."
"A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture."
"What person strives to ensure safety for horses? Ralph Neighder!"
"We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control."
"My mom when I was a kid: ""Never talk to strangers."" ""Never get in their cars."" Me to my future kids: ""Here's how to order an Uber."""
"I was going to sign this permission slip to let my daughter watch The Grinch at school but I haven't heard back from North Korea yet."
"do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth ""starting now?"" yes ""the judge looks like squints from the sandlot"""
"How do you kill a vegan vampire? Steak to the heart."
"I used to be in a band called Blank Cheque. After three years we were still unsigned."