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Joke of the Day

"Don't forget that alcohol helps to remove the stress, the bra, the panties and many other problems."

"1) Bake cake. 2) Don't cut it into pieces. 3) Eat the whole thing. 4) Claim I ate ""only one piece of cake."""

"I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed."

"Q: What did the book say to the librarian? A: Can I take you out?"

"The difference between being interrogated by a terrorist & interrogated by a woman is that eventually the terrorist will end your suffering."

"Tom Brady is a clever mastermind He learned from another great American hero named Tom and convinced Bill Belichick to whitewash his offenses."

"Stalker status update: Good news-I'm not in your house. The bad news-I am UNDER your house and the tunnel is complete."

"Saying that you were touched by Jesus... ...is a completely different story in a Mexican prison."

"Apple is developing an iPhone that pregnant women can swallow so fetuses can go online since they have nothing else to do in there."

"How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question. Idiots can't screw in lightbulbs regardless of help from other idiots."