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Joke of the Day

"Apple is developing an iPhone that pregnant women can swallow so fetuses can go online since they have nothing else to do in there."

"Facebook is telling me to ""reconnect"" with my brother...hmmm, I see him everyday"

"Peanut butter You're almost as good as chocolate Which is almost as good as cheese Which is tied with vodka -Poem about the food pyramid"

"Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was."

"Why did the hipster die? someone told him billions of people were alive."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?.. **RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!**"

"Judge: State your name. Me: Not Guilty Judge: What? Me: I had it legally changed. Judge: You're Not Guilty? Me: *moonwalks outta there*"

"Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me."

"[Trump speaking at rally] I love this country. I love America. I love singing the *looks at smudged writing on hand* Strawbangled Panther"

"I once hung out with Rupert Murdoch (Fox News Boss) and Vince McMahon (WWE)... ...they spent the whole day sharing tips and tricks to manage the make-believe worlds they have created."